Sir Dresh'Nor

Mon, 15 Dec 2003 03:58:58 GMT

I'm heading back to the planes for a while. Perhaps I will not return.

I can handle always being second to Qua'nor - if anyone's worthy of it, he is, and despite all we've been through, he's the one person I admire. I can handle never having Wa'il's affection... I'm not sure how I would handle it if I did, in all honesty.

I was one of the most feared and powerful generals of all time - my legend and Decanthros the Death Knight's often became obscured in the history books. I think most people now believe the black dragon on the battle field was Deca. That I don't mind... I never wanted to be famous.

I thought I could take any blow that came my way. What could be worse than having your own brother turn against you?

I can't take... not having my son's forgiveness. Even as I say it, I know if I were in his place, if I'd died over some foolish exploit of Jigasaki's... I'd probably feel the same way. What I've been through will never compare to what he must have suffered over the centuries.

What a fool I've been. The last time I wrote I said I have no regrets, but after seeing my son's eyes last night... I have nothing but regret now.

My only hope is someday he'll find peace... and someday find it in his heart to forgive me for failing him so miserably.

Contemplations

Tue, 04 Nov 2003 01:25:50 GMT

I made my own choices years ago... the choice to take Decanthros under my wing that fateful day was impulsive, but it is one I never regretted, despite the grief it brought later on. He's still much like that blood-drenched child I first encountered, even five thousand years later... Part innocent, part violence, and occasionally frustrating beyond compare.

I never thought I could ever meet someone that both infuriated me as much as Quaid, nor that I could love as much, regardless.

And I do admit it. I still love Quaid. Hate him. Love him. It's a line too thin to really see the difference at times. Even several lifetimes later, after Deca's first death, and Quaid's betrayal, I still juggle my emotions over my brother.

Mead is a cruel goddess and she revels in the fact.

He has grown, though... my mongrel mortal son, turned immortal death dealer. He was a somber child at best... now there's more sting to his words, a certain amount of bitterness that could only be earned through centuries of pain.

I wish I could have been at his side. That is really my only regret, looking back on it all.

Bothersome

Tue, 04 Nov 2003 01:11:19 GMT

Some days it is simply not worth trying to be polite.

Summoned

Wed, 16 Jul 2003 02:40:38 GMT

I would never have thought he could do it. The demon twins, these abominations to nature and the planes, they are much more than that if they could break the seal of the elder gods.

Just enough freedom to crave more. Just enough to make it all the more unbearable. What a horrifying irony that he is a being of pure chaos and madness. Even if I were back to my full power, I wonder if I could do anything to harm him. His brother... maybe. Durango watches every move I make, though. I sense his power, he is unnervingly strong - yet he seems content to live in his brother's shadow.

The coward.

At least I had an excuse. For the first few centuries of our lives, Qua'nor was all I could see. He was my brother, my idol, my hero, my companion and protector. It didn't matter he was only older by a few hours... I always looked up to him, even when we went our seperate ways around the world.

My poor Decanthros. What a way to have your fate forced upon you. I knew from the first time I saw him, a small, wild-eyed boy soaked in the blood of his master, that he was destined to be something far more powerful than anything we've ever seen. Death has always followed him, it seems only right that he would become a form of Death himself.

Still. Some part of me wishes that little boy could have been allowed a future better than what he has become. He is power, undying and whispered of among the gods themselves, yet the one thing he will never know is peace.

Do I blame myself? Or do I blame my brother, for bringing about his first death and forcing me to bring him back as I did. Do I blame the little wolf that obscures my vision time and again, for provoking Deca that way?

Wa'il. He's lived longer than any of his kind, and with Qua'nor forever standing so possessively over him, he may be the first of his kind to see old age. I am jealous of him, I admit it. Why a small, ill-tempered, unascended beast could be so completely tempting is beyond me. Maybe because it belongs to Qua'nor. Maybe I just want to take something precious away from my brother, like he did to me. Maybe. Maybe not.

How long has it been? Time stands still on the planes. Delgato's army is headed to the West, but I do not recognize any of these lands we pass through. Has it been so long that the planet has changed again? Perhaps by now..

No. He's still alive. Our blood calls to eachother. We were one being once, after all, if only for that short time in mother's womb.

There will only be one of us again, soon.